Am I a loser?

I'm losing in the jungle of depression...
I'm losing in the uncertain situations...
I'm losing my passion...
I'm losing my direction to achieve my goals...
I'm falling into the sea of frustration and not wanting to do anything.

For the last couple of days, I'm like a zombie. I wake up at 7 am then watching korea television until 9 or 10 am by doing my breakfast. Even my breakfast almost the same on, chicken porridge and my mom paid it. After watch the back-to-back korean serial movies, I back to my room and get sleep again until lunch time. Usually, I wake up because of adzan time. Later, I back to watch television again and take a bath after it. Then I get my nap until 4 pm and get ready to go to the campus.
Actually I have so many things to do but I don't have any desire to do it. I'm totally blank!!!

I gets cough for more than 4 weeks and it hit me! By having weak body also weakened your thinking and soul. I'm trying to pull out myself and it doesn't work. Like tonight. It's already 11 pm and I even not started doing our team paper for tomorrow presentation. On the other hands, I also have two classes tomorrow and I don't have any material to teach. Suddenly my tears come up. I remembered FH, the man that I loves for years.

It's hurt when I thinking about him. I remembered Jusof once told me. He said not to give up FH and always beside him. So, once it's time for him to fallin in love, I was there. Unfortunately, I wasn't. The woman that beside him was another woman, his colleague. Their relationship started at 2004. I don't know why they haven't married yet. I don't know what will happen to me when they get married.

FH get his girlfriend. He has someone to love and loved him back. He have a bright carreer. His future is the good one. It's so opposite with me. Since I was asked to resign from OgilvyDBN, I have no permanent job. I earn money from being a part-time lecturer. But that's not enough money for me. I have no boyfriend, not even the prospectorous one. No fine carreer path and anything I did lately are always went wrong. Including my relationship with my mom.

All those situations make me think... Am I a loser or I just in my lowest situation??? I have no idea at all.