As The Time Goes By...

On the next couple of days, we are going to heading into the new year, 2010. It's hard to believe once you're just celebrated the new year of 2009 but it's a life. There are so many things happening to me in the 2009. It have been a tough and hard year for me. There were so many good things happen and also bad things.

I started this year with uncertain feeling. Having a new boss which used to be my partner, it's really give me a hard time. I was giving a new client as a new challenge for my next promotion. But it's mean along working hours with a much burden of responsibility on my shoulder. I can managed it so far until the mid of the year. Another surprise made me re-thinking my decision to stay at the company and the option to back to university again.

GOD have GOD's own planned. Just before my 40th birthday, GOD gave me a lot of good things. First, finally I passed my master test at UI. Second, GOD re-unite me with my long lost friend - HS. This person used to be my boyfriend when we were at junior high school. I'm so happy. It's like a perfect condition just to visualize the phrase "The live is begin at 40th".

The long working hours, back and forth between office and campus, hard to satisfy client's, the possessive old friend are really dragging up my concentration and destiny. I lost my confidence along the way and of course my energy to do anything else. I'm even not dare to dream. I let go all my dreams just to finish what I have to do and get paid for it.

As a result, I screw up everything. My job, my studying, my class, my relationship with my my mom and off course... I let down my students. It makes me so sad and disappointed. I promise myself that I won't ever to do it again on my career as a lecturer. That's not all.

By the end of this year, I got yearly appraisal from my direct boss. Deep down in my heart, I know the appraisal won't get better as the result of my vocal voice. So, I've plan to looking for a new job sooner. The other reason is my master class tight schedules. The next semester, I have to go the campus every night. I have to take 5 classes. But again what really happen, it's really hit me. Totally!

My boss said I did a good job but unlucky me that he received my expired resignation letter and have to release me due to reshuffle team. I totally shocked, so I can't say anything unless asked him what my weakness. Later on I found out that he just lied. A really big lied just to get rid of me. It's personal reason.

That's GOD interfered ways. GOD know how hard I was working. GOD know I have to look a new job but too afraid to look the new one soon. So, GOD just gave me this bad reason for me to quit. The next day, I went to my boss room and gave him my new resignation letter. What a sad way to close the 2009.


As the time goes by, we just life the live everyday. Once it happen, we only can regret it but we can't go back to those days again. The only thing left is the precious lesson of life.

Even tough I'm so scared to face the future but I believe GOD won't let me down. GOD will always taking care of me. I have to trust GOD in every single things in my life. So... I optimist the next new coming year will be better for me. I have to assure myself that I can do it. I have to keep the fighting spirit in my heart.

And for my boss???? Gosh!!!! I hate to admit that I forgave him but it's hard to forget what he did to me. I believe GOD already have another plan for him as the result to what he did to me and the others. No need to pray something bad happen to him.

I do hope for the next new coming year, I will have a better life. I could find my life partner, new job, good result for my master program and always in GOD protection.

Happy New Year 2010 everyone.